Psychology, pain and moving forward vs moving back

So, a few minutes ago, I reblogged an interesting read from Cristian Mihai.  The basics about it being about letting go vs holding on.  Now, in some ways, he and I do have different opinions about things, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth the read.  Rather than clutter up his blog with my own musings, however, I figured I’d post up here my thoughts and all about the subject in full.

The concept of “letting go vs moving on” is actually a really deep conversation, with a myriad factors.  Personally, I’m not a fan of blanket statements in general because of the inherent logical flaws that can spring up (yes, I’m aware of the irony in that statement), but personally, I find that in general, the act of holding on, protecting the status quo (if we wish to define “holding on” as such) is typically the easier route.  There are exceptions, such as Christian Mihai’s plight in keeping funding for his blog.  It would, without a doubt, be easier for him to just pack up and move on, at least in terms of physical effort and time.

At the same time, though, clinging to a dream as the last grains of sand slip through your fingers is a different kind of hard.  It’s not hard because of the effort, it’s hard emotionally, because you stare at failure while it taunts you.  This is a common problem for me, both with holding on, keeping my status quo at the cost of my expression, my love and sometimes, even my future; as well as with letting go, standing still while opportunity slips away, lettings others go because it is safer if I let the friendship die in the comfort of my home rather than confront them and push to keep going.

I suppose, in a way, one could argue that both options are a way of holding on being hard though.  After all, while I might be holding onto the status quo, I’m letting go of my future, of friends and fun, because I’m afraid to hold onto the moment and let myself be exposed to the potential pain.  It is, sadly, a bit of a defining feature for me these days, though one I am decided to let go, as this blog might show.  Yeah, I obfuscate who I am, hide where I live, will not speak of my age or gender, but at the same time, even behind those safeguards, this is the real me.  I’m deep at times, but I’m also hurt and damaged, afraid and alone.  I think about a lot, and usually I keep it all bottled up, but the cork’s off this bottle and who knows what comes next.

Anyway, in the subject I mentioned Psychology.  One thing we as humans have a tendency to do is to try and protect the current state.  Think about it, even those of you who are more spontaneous risk takes out there, how often do you make a choice knowing that doing so might hurt your current state?  And when you do, there’s always the thought that the reward is worth it, or the risk is small enough to be ignored.  You aren’t likely to go walking down a minefield for $1, but you might do it for $1b, as an extreme example (and even then, a large portion of you still wouldn’t do it, even if there was only one mine to worry about).  Similarly, how often have you looked at a cute guy or girl, thought about how much you might want to simply get to know them (let alone anything following) but simply sat where you were, watching from afar because you were afraid of changing the status quo from enjoying a latte to having someone laugh at you?  That fear is a powerful thing, and it is there for a good reason (for instance, with the mines, please don’t actually try that) but sometimes, it just holds you back (like saying hi).  So this is my saying hi, and letting go of at least some of that fear.  And I hope that maybe you can do the same thing, either in my comments, but if not there, maybe you’ll find someone nice to flirt with, if nothing else.

Ja ne!

The Ranting Loon


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